CARPEL TUNNEL

Looks like this one is starting again.
I have actually been relativly symptom free for many years.
I was first diagnosed back when I was 20 but after months of braces it basically went away.
IT would be a bitch once or twice a year for a few days to up to 2 wks with the numbness and slight pain but it was deal able.
But now its almost a constant.
I am planning on just ignoring it as I do not want his family saying that I want attention and then refusing help because they think I am doing it to take away from his carpel tunnel.
Eventually, like with 95% of what goes wrong with me I will HAVE to go get it looked at and HOPE the dr fixes it and not just here wear these again and hope it goes away.
Fuck that shit.
I want the surgery, and attention from it.
However, because he has it I will be given 6 tones of shit if I get the surgery first or even second being told that I am just looking for attention.
I wish.
OK yeah I do wish. I wish I had found a better man with a better family that I wouldn't have to say or be made to feel these things.
Yes I do want the surgery because I just want it gone. No lets do this half ass and hope. I am tired of that shit. Just make it go the fuck away so I can move the fuck on.
And please let me enjoy my convelese and not have to do laundry and dishes the next day. Yes that has happened before. The day after my c-section and six weeks later after my tubal surgery the very next day I was expected to be up doing both because he would say i will do that and then 4 hours later it would still not be done and he was still playing video games and his mom said I will come over and help and then had some bull shit excuse as to why she couldn't. And they wonder why I wanna leave.

It's back and has been for several days and this time i had the spike in the wrist feeling which means its getting worse but I still need to wait until its crippling because fuck yeah I wanna be carved on.
Normal life.
Normal shit.
That's all I want.
And to me this is normal.